What do you do to prepare for the epic journey on the toilet after eating Mexican food?

Lawd, For your entertainment you will need a book like Uncle Johns bathroom reader (This book is designed just for your journey can't you tell by the title its real), or magazine, wet wipes, cigarettes (if you smoke), lighter (not having one can be like not having tissue), Make sure the can of air freshener is at least half full (need a good room freshener let me know Scentsy has one and I'm a consultant lol...), you may want your cell phone?, Put an additional roll of paper in the bathroom, just in case your toilet tissue eyeball measurement is a little off, Brief friends and family of the epic journey you are about to embark on (to minimize the knocks, questions, reminders etc...) and off you go!